The other day I was having a conversation with a dear friend. We know each other from school. She was very upset when she called me. Actually she had a fight with her husband over a small matter. Her mother in law said something mean to her. She did not say anything back to her MIL but later she raised the topic in front of her husband. She only wanted someone to cheer her up and she thought who could be better than her husband? But on the contrary, he just made her feel worse.
Let me describe the whole incident. (My friend’s name is Bee)
Bee just had her dinner and was sitting with her husband in the living room changing channels of TV.
“Who wants a biscuit?” exclaimed her MIL as she entered the room.
“I am full.” said Bee
“Who is gonna give you anyway, right son?” said the MIL.
Bee felt quite annoyed with the joke (teasing?) but replied easily, “OK, as you wish. I will have it myself if I want.”
“Take it yourself? I will chop your hand and break them into pieces if you do so.” came the response from the MIL.
Bee left the hall silently as she did not find words to reply.
The whole incident happened in front of her husband but her husband said nothing to his mom.
That night she told her husband that she felt really bad when his mother talked to her in that way.
Her husband was like, “Are you crazy, can’t you take a casual joke?”
She said she never ever heard of such joke. She was not asking her husband to go to his mom and ask her to stop behaving like that. She just wanted to hear something soothing like, Yea I know you felt bad but don’t worry everything will be alright. Instead his husband said that she was dumb enough not to understand a joke.
He even said that she was intentionally trying to create tensions between him and his mom.
So she called me crying.
I tried to calm her. She asked whether she did anything wrong.
“No, you didn’t. Do not think about it right now and go to sleep. Your husband got angry because his mom is involved in this. Everything will be alright.” I said to her.
After the call was over I sat down and tried to think about the difference between a harmless joke and a harmful one with the intention to belittle the other person.
Many a times people just spew words of contempt under the guise of ‘just kidding, won’t you get that?’
It becomes very hard for the receiver of the joke to prove otherwise because ultimately the blame comes down upon the receiver for inventing hurtful meaning from some ‘benign bunch of words meant to evoke laughter.’ But the reality is they do not evoke laughter but they do hurt feelings of others.
The receiver, if tries to stop these by simply stating that they don’t like such kind of jokes, the narrator feels outraged.
“Oh God! You have such a cunning mind.” All of a sudden the blame of being presumptuous comes upon the victim and the original villain acts as the victim of injustice.
So, overall it’s a tricky situation to end this hurtful teasing game. Joking is okay, but immoral teasing is not.
It was natural for Bee to feel bad because if I were in her position I would have felt the same. The only bad thing is, her husband did not feel the same.
Your blog just became a viral sensation. What’s the one post you’d like new readers to see and remember you by?
So let me guess that my blog has become sensational. Even thinking about it makes me happy. In that case I would like to convey a message to my new readers, to the future generation. Here it is. I do not know whether a post will make myself to be remembered, in fact I think I will not be remembered at all but I want this message to be remembered.
In response to Daily Post: Posterity
I was sitting lazily with a book in my hand and trying to concentrate in a chapter for my upcoming exams. It was a nice afternoon of autumn. Suddenly I heard birds chirping together in an unusual way. It was not their normal melodies. It was more angrier. I put down the book from my lap and went outside to see the matter. As soon as I stepped outside I saw a cat aiming high at the branches of a Crape jasmine tree. I followed the cat’s aim and found out that a small bird was sitting on a branch and it was trembling in fear. It tried to hide behind the leaves but the cat was too smart.
The other bigger birds from the small bird’s family were trying hard to scare away the cat. Some braver birds were even attacking the cat with their beaks. But the cat was just too stubborn to budge. The little birdie was learning to fly it seemed but somehow ended upon that branch after it got tired. It was not ready to take another flight yet and the cat didn’t want to miss the chance of a meal. The whole story became clear in my mind.
I wasted no time and scared the cat away with the cellphone in my hand. I acted as if I was about to throw it upon him. The cat ran away as he was not smart enough to find out that I would never want to break my cellphone. As soon as the cat was out of sight the other birds became calm.
I brought a chair and sat outside. The little birdie tried to fly again and again. At last it stretched its wings and flew to a higher branch of a mango tree. All the time its family was beside to encourage the birdie.
Finally it was out of danger and I returned back to my room. I quickened the pace of my study.
In respose to Daily Prompt: Daring Do
Tell us about your first day at something — your first day of school, first day of work, first day living on your own, first day blogging, first day as a parent, whatever.
The day I first saw you,
You didn’t notice me;
Was the day I fell for you
And all was you that I could see.
You looked so cute,
With white shirt on.
I still can’t forget,
So quick you were gone.
Right from that moment,I loved you
But you didn’t know.
I wondered; if you will love me too
And was afraid to show.
Then I talked to you
for the very first time.
You said we should be friends.
I said yes, but it was a lie.
Together we felt so happy.
Our friendship grew.
We talked for hours.
I knew you loved me too.
The first time you hold my hand,
The first feeling of our kiss,
The first time you said you love me,
All are now sweet memories.
Now that you are mine,
I feel so complete.
I fall in love everyday,
It grows with every heart beat.
Thank you sweetheart
For coming into my life
Without you life wouldn’t be the same
Thanks dear for making me your wife.
In response to Daily Prompt: First
These are some wonderful posts that I liked
- The First Fright | Inspiring my Emotions
- Daily Prompt: First no 2 | Chronicles of an Anglo Swiss
- Kindergarten- That First Day | Serendipity
- I am a writer | myself through writing
- Daily Prompt: First Qigong Lesson | 61 Musings
- DAILY PROMPT: ON A FIRST DAY WHEN I WAS SO SMALL … | SERENDIPITY
- The first time I met you | viver para contar
- Moving on up and moving on out | Life as a country bumpkin…not a city girl
- The Day I Touched The Ocean (but it was not amused) | True Stories
- First | Caffeinated Mom Speaks
I used to see a dream very often. I stood in front of a never ending staircase. I tried to climb that every time but after climbing few steps I just got lost. I tried very hard to go ahead but I couldn’t find the way. I even could not stand straight and I began to crawl. I just didn’t understand why I couldn’t climb the stairs while others could easily. I cried for help but nobody came. Suddenly everything around me became dark and I could not see anything. I lost control and I was about to fall. I woke up with a sudden jolt.
The dream was so common that I wanted to analyze what it means but I was not able to find out. I thought hard about when was the first time I saw it. During that time I was stressed about my career and relationship and always thought about what I will do next. I spent lot of time thinking about the long term goals in my life without concentrating on the nearby short time goals. Maybe the dream was trying to tell me something, I thought.
I changed my working and thinking pattern. I gave priorities to my short time goals rather than thinking about my unseen future. I started completing the projects that were pending and tried to be optimistic about my life.
The dream that came almost every alternate nights was not coming anymore. Then suddenly one day, I saw the same staircase. I started climbing as usual but this time I reached the top without any problem.
I realized what the dreams were trying to convey. The small steps in the stairs are like small day to day things in our life. The steps are small but they are very important to lead us to the top. We can not ignore any of the steps if we really want to reach the destination. We just need to faithfully carry our small duties to reach the ultimate goal in our life.
To see a change in my tomorrow I need to be the change today. My conscious mind was not able to apprehend that so my subconscious mind made me aware of the fact in my dreams.
In response to Daily Prompt: Be The Change
Posts that I admire:
In response to The Daily Post’s weekly photo challenge: “New.”
In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Happy Happy Joy Joy.”
We cry for lots of reasons: sadness, pain, fear . . . and happiness. When was the last time you shed tears of joy?
When I was in high school I met my future husband (then boyfriend) for the first time. We became friends instantly and we had so much in common that our friendship turned into love in no time. We were so happy with each other. We were together for two years before he left India and shifted to the US permanently. In those two years, we never had a single argument, he never made me cry for a single time. But the journey of our love was not as smooth as it seems.
My parents found out about our relationship and they thought at 17, I was not mature enough to be in a relationship. So, they tried to make me understand to end this affair and concentrate on my studies instead. Here, parents always think that if their children are involved in any relationship during studies then they will do bad, academically. I was too afraid to make them understand that he is the one that I want to spend my rest of my life with. I just lied to my parents that I will end the relationship. But they found out my lie again. This time my dad took away my cellphone. My cellphone was the only way to contact my boyfriend as our board exams (class 12) were over by that time and I was not allowed to go outside my house untill my college started.
I could not contact him for months. Back on 2006, internet was not common at the place where I lived. I did not even get to know which day he left India. I went into depression after I found that he left. But I never stopped loving him. Two years later on 2008 I got first internet connection. I searched for him on Facebook and found him. We chatted occasionally on Facebook. I still loved him but I thought he must have moved on. Then one day he sent me a link to the song “Still loving you” by Scorpions. I understood what he meant to say but was not sure. The next day he said indeed he still loved me. He was hesitating to say that because he was not sure whether I felt the same way for him. Both of us never moved on and we kept loving each other in spite of not knowing about each other’s feelings. We were in love all the time. I was so happy that day that I had tears in my eyes, the tears of joy.
P.S. With the help of God and of course Facebook I got my love back. I am thankful to both of them.
When was the first time you really felt like a grown up (if ever)?
Four years back I had to leave my home for further studies. My university was far away from my home so it was evident that I had to stay at hostel for next two years. The day before the journey I was a little sad as I never stayed far away from my home earlier. My parents accompanied me to help me settle over there.
I was not sure whether I will be able to handle everything on my own without my parents by my side. There were many other girls,some from older batch and others from the incoming batch, like me. I made friends with some of them on the very first day. My parents halted at a nearby hotel but I stayed with my new friends in the hostel, my home for next two years.
The next morning my parents came to meet me before returning back to home. My mom had tears in her eyes but I did not cry. I tried to calm her. I hugged her and said not to worry about me and I promised her that I will take good care of myself. Earlier I was the one who cried and my mother always calmed me. But this time it was other way around. After my parents left I sat alone in my room for sometimes and suddenly I felt like a grown up.
The hostel life indeed helped me to grow up. It gave me independence. I handled not so good situations, I learnt making decisions on my own. It also gave me some true friends who are now inseparable part of my life.
In response to Daily Prompt: All Grown Up.
More wonderful posts here: https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/all-grown-up/
Some posts that I liked: