Always in Love

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Happy Happy Joy Joy.”

We cry for lots of reasons: sadness, pain, fear . . . and happiness. When was the last time you shed tears of joy?

When I was in high school I met my future husband (then boyfriend) for the first time. We became friends instantly and we had so much in common that our friendship turned into love in no time. We were so happy with each other. We were together for two years before he left India and shifted to the US permanently. In those two years, we never had a single argument, he never made me cry for a single time. But the journey of our love was not as smooth as it seems.

My parents found out about our relationship and they thought at 17, I was not mature enough to be in a relationship. So, they tried to make me understand to end this affair and concentrate on my studies instead. Here, parents always think that if their children are involved in any relationship during studies then they will do bad, academically. I was too afraid to make them understand that he is the one that I want to spend my rest of my life with. I just lied to my parents that I will end the relationship. But they found out my lie again. This time my dad took away my cellphone. My cellphone was the only way to contact my boyfriend as our board exams (class 12) were over by that time and I was not allowed to go outside my house untill my college started.

I could not contact him for months. Back on 2006, internet was not common at the place where I lived. I did not even get to know which day he left India. I went into depression after I found that he left. But I never stopped loving him. Two years later on 2008 I got first internet connection. I searched for him on Facebook and found him. We chatted occasionally on Facebook.  I still loved him but I thought he must have moved on. Then one day he sent me a link to the song “Still loving you” by Scorpions. I understood what he meant to say but was not sure. The next day he said indeed he still loved me. He was hesitating to say that because he was not sure whether I felt the same way for him.  Both of us never moved on and we kept loving each other in spite of not knowing about each other’s feelings. We were in love all the time. I was so happy that day that I had tears in my eyes, the tears of joy.

P.S. With the help of God and of course Facebook I got my love back. I am thankful to both of them.

In Due Time We Will Be Together

What’s your next, most pressing deadline? Are you excited, stressed, or ambivalent about it? What’s the first thing you’d like to do once you’re done with it?

To tell about my deadline, a little description about myself is needed here. I am married and waiting for an immigrant visa to be available to be with my husband. My husband recently became an US citizen but he was a Legal permanent resident (LPR) at the time of our marriage. Now there is a major difference in immigration process between a spouse of an US citizen and a spouse of an LPR. There is no annual quota limit for visa in case of USC spouses but there is an annual limit of visas for spouses of LPRs. So, it is very common for a spouse of LPR to wait for 2-3 years to get an immigrant visa while the spouse of an US citizen can get that within a year.

The USC can file IR1/CR1 (Immediate relative category) petition on behalf of their spouse. Once approved by United States Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) the IR1/CR1 case moves to National Visa Center (NVC) and they are processed without any further delay.

While the LPR can file F2A (Family 2nd preference category) petition for their spouse and unlike IR1/CR1 once approved by USCIS though it moves to NVC but it is hold there until the priority date (PD) for the petition becomes current ( which sometimes takes 2 or more years to be current) .

I understand that the immigration process is very hard for anyone who is undergoing this process, be it a spouse of citizen or spouse of LPR but the extra waiting part is very hard in case of LPR spouses. It gets real tough for the newly wed couples like us. We know each other for 10 years now and we were in a long distance relationship for total 6 years before we got married. But still me and my husband were constantly upset and had several altercations because of this long distance and zero progress in our immigration case. We got married to end this distance but the time has not come yet.

So here is our immigration story in short and my most pressing deadline:

We married last year in july (2013) but did not file an I130 petition. We did not know the details about the procedure then. We were just about to file the petition when some people scared us saying that it will take 5 years to get a visa if we file under F2A category. So, we thought to wait until my husband gets his citizenship. Then unexpectedly all the priority dates (PD) for F2A category became current during aug-sep last year. And we got extremely unlucky as we did not file right after my marriage.

Finally, my husband filed the I130 petition this year on May. All the credit goes to an online forum called Visa Journey where I got all the information needed to file a petition. I wish I knew about this wonderful forum earlier then I could have celebrated my marriage anniversary with my husband this year. But better late than never.
Right now our case is pending at NVC since early September as our PD is not current and we are under F2A category.
My husband applied for his citizenship way back in early february but his local office is on NYC and that is heavily backlogged. His naturalization ceremony was held on last week of November. Immediately after he got the naturalization certificate he emailed NVC to upgrade our case from F2A to IR1/CR1 so that our case can start moving.The representatives there told that it will take 60 days to upgrade that case. 60 days!!!! Isn’t that more than enough time to upgrade a case? I feel so upset. After upgrading also, there are many more steps left to be done at NVC. They will also take their share of time. But right now my only wish is to cross this upgrading part so that my pending case ultimately starts moving and the distance between me and my husband lessens with each passing day. That is my most pressing deadline that I need to cross.

After that I will be happy to finish this one and be ready for another deadline. I have made my own set of deadlines to cope up with this tedious immigration process. If I count all the deadlines at once that will make me too stressed to think about other things. So, I divided the whole process in smaller sets of deadlines so that I can celebrate while I pass each one of them and maintain my sanity.

I really hope to be with my husband in our marriage anniversary next year. In due time we will be together.


In response to Daily Prompt: In Due Time

More here: https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/in-due-time/

A Poem For My Husband

The day I first saw you,

You didn’t notice me;

Was the day I fell for you

And all was you that I could see.


You looked so cute,

With white shirt on.

I still can’t forget,

So quick you were gone.


Right from that moment,I loved you

But you didn’t know.

I wondered; if you will love me too

And was afraid to show.


Then I talked to you

for the very first time.

You said we should be friends.

I said yes, but it was a lie.


Together we felt so happy.

Our friendship grew.

We talked for hours.

I knew you loved me too.


The first time you hold my hand,

The first feeling of our kiss,

The first time you said you love me,

All are now sweet memories.


Now that you are mine,

I feel so complete.

I fall in love everyday,

It grows with every heart beat.


Thank you sweetheart

For coming into my life

Without you life wouldn’t be the same

Thanks dear for making me your wife.


How to Stay in Love in a Long Distance Relationship

The term Long Distance Relationship (LDR) is not fancy anymore in this Hi-tech age. More and more people are getting into a relationship that is long distant. There are many unmarried couples as well as married couples who stay miles apart from each other. With greater distance comes the greater challenges. Remember distance is a test and you have to pass that to get your love. Here are some of the things that one can do while in such a relationship to make it work. Though I am writing from a girl’s perspective, the ideas are gender neutral.


STAY POSITIVE

If you love someone deeply and he stays far away from you, it’s obvious that you are going to miss him badly. The fact that you can not meet him anytime soon, adds to the woes. Sometimes it gets really unbearable, when you feel low and just want your partner by your side to cheer you up. Sometimes you miss him on special occasions like your birthday or the anniversary date of your relationship. You want to be happy in certain occasions but you feel like you can not be happy to your fullest as he is not with you physically. Sometimes you also feel that your partner do not miss you at all as he rarely admits that. This makes you further unhappy. So, what to do in such situation?

You have to think differently. You have to learn to be happy without your partner. You may wish to spend the evening on your birthday with your partner but if that doesn’t happen do not sulk. Instead celebrate it with your friends and family. Later you can share those happy moments with him. Only thinking about him and missing him will do no good to you. Rather think about what you are going to do when he comes to visit you.

If your partner does not say that he misses you all the time, do not think that he is not missing you. Definitely he misses you but he won’t tell you. Boys and girls think differently. We tend to talk about the things that makes us unhappy in order to cope up with the stress but boys prefer not to talk about the things that they can not change at the specific moment. Try to stay positive and also help him to stay positive. Staying positive will help you to stay in love.

MAKE IT A RULE TO STAY IN TOUCH

Try to spend as much as time together via phone, text messages or video chat. The more time you will spend together the more strong your relationship will be. It’s not possible to devote same amount of time daily but make it a rule to call at least once a day.

SHARE YOUR DAILY DETAILS WITH YOUR PARTNER

Share every details of your day while you talk to your partner. Ask about each others family and friends. Talk about each others childhood and communities. It will help you to have a better understanding for each other.

TRY HEALTHY DISCUSSION TO SORT OUT DIFFERENCES

It is natural that at any point, differences of thought will arise. Try to sort out that by discussing the matter. If something is bothering you then do not avoid it for rectifying in future. If something is bothering you and you need a change state that clearly but never ever start whining. This will eventually lead to a heated altercation and the problem will not be solved. Instead try something like “I am really bothered about this matter” and express your concerns. If possible, also tell him how you will like to solve the problem. Your partner will both listen and try to sort out the matter and you will be amazed to see the power of healthy discussion. Most of the differences can be sorted out if approached in a right manner.

Boys simply hate whining and as soon as they identify your whining tone they will shut off their ears and will not listen to you even if you say the right thing. So, next time be careful and practice to be articulate.

GIVE UTMOST PRIORITY TO EACH OTHER

When you are in a LDR you have to make some sacrifices and give priority to each other over anything else. For example your partner wants to talk to you whole day after a very busy week and you have plans to go to a friend’s house. In that case you have to cancel your plan to visit your friend and spend the day talking to your partner. Try to think it in this way, you had a very busy week and you want to spend the weekend with your partner, but your partner plans to go for a hike. How would you feel about that? You got it right!

Prioritizing each other over anything else will make your relationship even stronger and both of you will feel loved.

INSPIRE EACH OTHER

Share the goals and ambitions in your life and help each other to achieve that. Help each other to dream bigger. Be an inspiration for each other to achieve something great together.

PlAN FOR FUTURE

You should plan about the future of your relationship together. It will help you to believe that both of you are serious about the relationship and want to take it to the next level. Plan about the things you will do when you are together. You both can plan about your marriage also if you feel so.

TRUST EACH OTHER

The basis of any relationship is built upon trust. Have that trust always. Do not suspect any thing wrong just because you are in a LDR. There is a reason why you chose to be in a relationship with this certain person and that is, you can trust him. If not then you should not be in the relationship anyway. So let the trust prevail in your relationship.

AND ONE FINAL THING

If your long distance relationship is successful and eventually you get married then it’s obvious how strong your relationship was. In future you may have problems in your married life but always remember, together you sailed through the thunderstorm and succeeded. Need I say more?

The Day Her Wait Started

She woke up early and stared blankly at the ceiling as finally the day arrived, inspite of her million wishes that it should not. The previous night she decided not to sleep and talk whole night with her husband. They kept on talking about the funny and not so funny things they did together in this last one month as the night passed. She wished the sky remained dark forever but darkness faded into the light. And it came with the fact that her husband will have to leave that day, without her. The packing was almost done. She helped with the final touch and also attached the name stickers on the luggage. The name stickers were handwritten by her. She gently attached them and felt that at least they will travel along with her husband. How she wished that she was just a sticker. Then there would be no boundaries for her.
They stayed together for 1 and a half months after marriage. Yes, they were newly married couple. July, they were married and mid August he was going to leave. She knew that, it was going to happen sometime soon. But she had no idea it was going to be this hard. Immigrating to USA is not an easy job, especially if someone is married to Legal Permanent Resident of Untied States of America. But she thought she could handle the separation. After all it’s not going to be forever. She was so happy with the thought of the marriage that she forcefully ignored the fact of being separated afterwards. But the day finally came. She tried hard to control her emotions as she did not want to show it to the other family members. It’s not good for a wife to show her emotions for her husband in India, especially if she is a new one.
She tried not to think about the separation on the way to the airport. Her husband was still acting like she was also going with him. On last few days they traveled to various places together. Maybe he was thinking about this journey as the previous ones. They reached the airport very early and waited there for about 2 hours. Then he got ready for the departure. She stood there with tears in her eyes and looked at him. That very moment, she saw the pain in his eyes. She forced herself to stop her tears. She never wanted him to see her crying and increase his pain. She wanted to be strong. She kept on staring until he faded among the crowd. She stood for some more time and left the airport.
She thought she will be alright after she reached home. But returning to a home without him, was worse than she thought. Each and every corner of their home was reminding her about him. She took a shower and tried to take a nap. She argued with her mind to stay calm and accept the fact that now she has to wait. She has to wait to see her husband again and the fact is, that the waiting period is unknown.
That night she could not sleep. She cried all night. Next morning when she woke up she reached for her husband sleeping beside her only to get back to the harsh reality, he was gone.
When they were in a long distance relationship, they thought marriage will make that wait easier. Both of them waited so long. But that morning without him, she realized the wait has just begun. And it was going to be harder than she thought.