A Fallacy

Clichés become clichés for a reason. Tell us about the last time a bird in the hand was worth two in the bush for you.

One such cliché in Indian society is, Glorifying arranged marriages. Though it is not an idiom or a phrase but it is a state of mind in our society.

Arranged marriages are viewed as a tradition over the ages in Indian Society. Though love marriages are common now-a-days and it did happen in the past but love marriages are yet to become a cultural part. I do not have anything personal against arranged marriages but I just don’t feel overwhelmed with joy when arranged marriages get so much praises over love marriages.

The basis of arranged marriage is built upon the fact that both the bride and the groom should belong to the same or comparable caste. Otherwise marriage is a strict no no. First comes the caste, love comes afterwards in case of arranged marriage.

Though the basis of love marriage is “love,” it is still looked down upon by many elders here in India. “You know what, my friend’s daughter got married with a guy who belongs to a lower caste,” a very common topic of discussion that I have heard so many times.

Some are even more creative finding faults in love marriages, “Your son had a love marriage? See, I warned you earlier that he is seeing a girl. My son is so obedient unlike yours. He will get married according to my wish.” In their view a love marriage brings disgrace to the family. They try to make us feel that indeed love marriage is a matter of shame whereas arranged marriages are the reason to be proud. They give lectures on caste and the ancient culture and the beneficial reasons to get married inside the caste. They think it is their responsibility to find their children a life partner. They even try to influence the parents who do not feel the intense urge to control their children in choosing their life partner.

I chose to get married to the person I love. It was hard for both of us, still we were determined to get over the adversities. Our parents were reluctant at first but finally they supported us. They disregarded the bad things that others had to say about our marriage.

It is high time that people stop listening to these fallacies and move on because the basis of the marriage should be love, not any single other thing. It is okay to have an arranged marriage inside same caste but it is also okay to have an inter caste love marriage. In fact, more and more inter caste marriages will help the future generation to be free from the thoughts of caste and creed. After all there is no need to follow the rule, “When in Rome, do as the Romans do.”

More here: https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/clich%C3%A9/

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9 thoughts on “A Fallacy

  1. I have a friend from India that was in an arranged marriage and it didn’t work out. I feel arranged marriages are more about control. The parents that force their children into arranged marriages seem to me to want their child’s ultimate obediance, which is to marry the person THEY choose. To me, this also means they have been able to control the entire life of that child through their choice for a marriage partner. I may be wrong about this because I am in a country that doesn’t do this. I find this tradition to be very sad.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Actually I agree with you. The scenario is changing now slowly but steadily. More and more parents are accepting the fact that it is not necessary to choose their children’s partners. But there are many others who feel the urge to control their children in choosing their life partners. I mean suggestion is something but controlling is definitely sad. One of my friend was forced to get married to a guy chosen by her family though she was in love with another guy.

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      • That is heartbreaking about your friend. I don’t understand parents that feel they should have the right to force their child to marry someone they don’t want to marry. I hope this tradition fades into the past.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Me too hope that. The parents think that they are doing their children a favor by helping them to choose their perfect life partner but they don’t realize that they are doing just the opposite. They themselves got married in the same fashion and they feel it is their responsibility to find a perfect match for their children.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I understand but they also need to listen to their child’s desires and needs. Of course, many people think they are in love and have found the perfect partner and it turns out not to be so. So who knows which is better. I would still prefer to choose my own.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I totally agree with you. I never considered Arrange marriages more than a sort of compromise from both boy and girl. The outcome the most unpredictable thing, yet parents claim to have seen the better future in it just like that !

    Liked by 1 person

  3. It’s interesting reading about this, since I am American. I always wondered what it is like in other countries. But, I agree with your point. It’s okay for parents to give advice or help their child out, but not force it upon them. Most parents have a perspective that their children don’t have since they have been alive longer, but tradition is so strong sometimes. Tradition can make you scratch your head sometimes because you wonder why people keep doing it even though it can be so stressful or cause pain. I guess we’re creatures of habit. But maybe some traditions should be left to choice of the individuals, and not mocking anyone that deviates from it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for stopping by. I absolutely agree with you regarding the tradition. Tradition actually is a clever word. Sometimes it is good but sometimes it does more harm than doing any good. If I want something works on my way and I cannot give any logical explanation behind that, I can try to make that happen on the name of tradition.

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